


double spaced [hiatus <3]

by xelin



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: (i guess), (sort of), (they get together in the fic uwu), Angst, Background Changlix, Double Identities, Estimated to contain approx. 0 heterosexuals, Fluff, M/M, Mafia AU, Texting, jisung is dumb and gay, minho is evil and gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-06-30 17:07:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15756093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xelin/pseuds/xelin
Summary: Safety hazardi mean come on what’s the worst that could happenFavourite childyou disappear and we find your body in a river three days laterSafety hazardplease lighten up a little





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> it took me this long to make a skz fic i'm a fake stan  
> like 99% of this is just my humour i'm so sorry  
> there's some drama & mild angst later on so equip your emotions pals  
> my skz tumblr is [@bravelix](http://bravelix.tumblr.com/) if you wanna come cry (crying is welcomed)  
> also please feel free to stalk [this](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15748599/chapters/36622527/) fellow text fic by my fake friend (the humour is equally mediocre)  
> enjoy <:

_[a disorderly family]_

 

_  
_

**Safety hazard**  
everyone i have an announcement

 **Damage control**  
I can’t believe Jisung finally got arrested  
I’m not bailing him out, I knew this would happen

 **Safety hazard**  
solid guess but no  
i found a phone *:･ﾟ✧

 **Favourite child**  
wow  
thank you for this much needed information  
(when it happens i’m not bailing him out either)

 **Safety hazard**  
hold thy excitement dear jeongin (´ω｀)  
for this is no ordinary phone  
it has one (1) single anonymous number saved as a contact

 **Damage control**  
Oh no

 **Safety hazard**  
oh yes~

 **Favourite child**  
someone tell him this is a bad idea  
where’s chan

 **Honorary dad**  
This is a terrible idea

 **Safety hazard**  
i mean come on what’s the worst that could happen

 **Favourite child**  
you disappear and we find your body in a river three days later

 **Safety hazard**  
please lighten up a little

 **The literal sun ☼**  
i say do it  
throw caution to the wind yknow

 **Damage control**  
Felix can be the one to bring the body back then

 **Favourite child**  
you’re not actually planning on calling it right

 **Safety hazard**  
what no don’t be ridiculous  
what sort of person willingly calls someone these days  
i’m gonna text it

 **Favourite child**  
oh my god jisung

 **Damage control**  
Tell us how it goes?

 **Favourite child**  
and here i thought chan and woojin were the responsible ones

 **Damage control**  
He’ll do it whether we tell him to or not  
Sometimes he has to make his own dumb mistakes to learn

 **Safety hazard**  
(◠‿◠)

 

\---

_[XX-XXXX-XXXX & Han]_

**Han**  
why hello there elusive stranger (˵¯͒〰¯͒˵)

 **XX-XXXX-XXXX**  
What the fuck

 **Han**  
ohohoh you replied!!!!!  
nice to meet you~~

 **XX-XXXX-XXXX**  
How did you get this number

 **Han**  
it was saved to a phone i found!

 **XX-XXXX-XXXX**  
Dude do you have no sense of self preservation at all

 **Han**  
≧◡≦

 **XX-XXXX-XXXX**  
Delete this number  
Better yet, get rid of the phone  
That phone shouldn’t even be intact, god knows how you got it

 **Han**  
whaaaat? :(  
but we only just started talking  
what’s your name? you can call me han ^^

 **XX-XXXX-XXXX**  
Are you joking  
Do you do this kind of dumb shit all the time  
You must have a death wish

 **Han**  
sometimes  
don’t we all  
anyway what’s your name? :D

 

\---

_[musical geniuses ( & seungmin)]_

**Dance man**  
Some dumbass didn’t destroy their burner phone properly  
Someone’s been messaging me on it

 **Beansprout**  
wait what have they been saying

 **Dance man**  
???  
Nothing important?  
They use a ton of emojis

 **Beansprout**  
oh that’s kinda cute  
better block them though i wouldn’t risk it

 **Dance man**  
But they’ll still have my number  
What if they trace it?

 **(Incoherent growling)**  
Realistically they don’t sound particularly threatening  
I’d go for it, might be fun lol

 **Confused gay**  
Since when did you become the most irresponsible person on the planet

 **(Incoherent growling)**  
The S in Seungmin stands for spoilsport

 **Confused gay**  
I’m not trying to ruin your fun  
I’m trying to point out there should be no fun in the first place  
This is beyond risky, bordering on plain stupidity  
Minho isn’t reckless enough to do this kind of thing

 **Beansprout**  
for once i kinda agree with seungmin  
this could go really badly

 **(Incoherent growling)**  
I can’t believe……  
You guys have left me to be the fun one…….  
He sounds really harmless?  
It’s not like Minho has to tell him anything  
Just give him a fake name

 **Dance man**  
A fake name, huh

 **Beansprout**  
minho no

 **Confused gay**  
Minho I fucking trusted you

 

\---

_[XX-XXXX-XXXX & Han]_

**XX-XXXX-XXXX**  
Lee Know

 **Han**  
oh my gosh you replied (｡♥‿♥｡)  
who know?

 **XX-XXXX-XXXX**  
...That’s my name

 **Han**  
..  
sdfjhsdhjl  
that’s such a cool name!!!!

 

[Save XX-XXXX-XXXX as Lee Know?]

[Saved]

**Han**  
so what do you do  
why was there a spooky phone with your number ( ･_･)

 **Lee Know**  
Right, next question

 **Han**  
ooooooo  
a mysterious boy  
okay less intense got it (¬‿¬)  
what’s your favourite colour

 **Lee Know**  
Why is that important??

 **Han**  
um excuse you  
you can learn so much about someone from their favourite colour  
i’m trying to be FRIENDLY :((

 **Lee Know**  
I like mint green  
What does that tell you

 **Han**  
well your favourite colour isn’t black so you’re not totally spooky n elusive  <:  
i like red

 **Lee Know**  
...What does that say about you

 **Han**  
that i have better taste in colours than you  
next question what’s your star sign

 **Lee Know**  
I did not sign up for 20 questions but okay  
I’m a scorpio

 **Han**  
oh ??? so you do know your star sign  
another point in the not totally spooky column  
i trust a man who knows his star sign ≖‿≖

 **Lee Know**  
What’s your star sign?

 **Han**  
virgo :D

 **Lee Know**  
Oh no…

 **Han**  
WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

 

\---

_[musical geniuses ( & seungmin)]_

**Dance man**  
Changbin was right  
This is sort of funny

 **(Incoherent growling)**  
I told you so.

 **Beansprout**  
a moment of silence for minho’s betrayal of seungmin

 **Confused gay**  
This is going to go terribly and I want no part of it

 **Beansprout**  
since you’re making bad decisions please let us be a part of it minho

 **Confused gay**  
What did I literally just say

 **Dance man**  
His name is Han  
...He’s a virgo

 **Beansprout**  
gasp

 **Confused gay**  
???????  
Don’t act like you understand????

 **Beansprout**  
i understand

 **(Incoherent growling)**  
i can’t believe you seungmin  
this tells us everything

 

[Beansprout renamed Confused gay to Fake gay]

**Fake gay**  
Fuck off Hyunjin  
I stand by my point  
This is going to go really badly  
And then you owe me for being the good responsible friend I am.

 **(Incoherent growling)**  
Minho did he tell you his favourite colour  
You can learn a lot about someone from their favourite colour

 **Fake gay**  
Sigh.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm gonna try uploading once per day since the chapters are small  
> i do nooot expect myself to be able to keep that up but :^) you never know

_[a disorderly family]_

 

**The literal sun ☼**

i have never seen jisung run that fast

im dying sdfsdfgh

 

**Safety hazard**

nothing wrong with a quick jog after hard work at dance practice

〴⋋_⋌〵

 

**Favourite child**

don’t try that with us

you never do exercise that isn’t dancing

what happened

 

**Damage control**

Did Minho breathe

 

**Safety hazard**

dude not everything is about minho

 

**The literal sun ☼**

it’s about minho

 

**Safety hazard**

i hate this family

 

**The literal sun ☼**

minho and hyunjin learnt a new choreo

it was beautiful :(

apparently jisung thought so too

zzzzooom

 

**Favourite child**

ah, gay behaviours

 

**Safety hazard**

i’m leaving forever

 

**The literal sun ☼**

but without us who will you drool over minho with

 

**Safety hazard**

nOT EVeRYTHInG IS ABoUT MINhO

 

**Honorary dad**

Don’t bully Jisung, guys

 

**Safety hazard**

i’ve changed my mind i love this family especially chan

 

**Honorary dad**

If he doesn’t want to talk about his crush on Minho, that’s his decision

 

[Safety hazard has left the chat]

[Damage control added Safety hazard to the chat]

 

**Safety hazard**

let me sulk in peace o(╥﹏╥)o

 

[Damage control renamed Safety hazard to Gay crisis]

 

**Damage control**

We love you Jisung

 

\---

 

_[musical geniuses ( & seungmin)] _

  


**Dance man**

Anyway today was fun

Spending the day off with my 3 talented friends

 

**Fake gay**

Don’t be a fucking snake Minho

 

**Beansprout**

he can’t help it, it’s in his dna

 

 **Dance man**   
:)

 

**Fake gay**

I’ll come to your goddamn dance practice eventually

 

**Dance man**

Are you just scared because you can’t dance

It’s okay Seungmin we won’t tease you too much ♥

 

**Fake gay**

I can dance ??

We’re just not all freaks of nature like you Minho

 

**Dance man**

Where did you end up spending your day off then

If not in the company of your 3 best pals

 

**Fake gay**

Plotting how I’m going to get away with your murder

 

**Beansprout**

he’s a deep sleeper yknow

 

**Fake gay**

Oh I’m aware

 

**Dance man**

Moving on from my imminent death

I have been receiving facts via text at least every half an hour today

Would you like to hear one

 

**(Incoherent growling)**

Is this Han

Yes I absolutely do

 

**Dance man**

“if you pet a cat 70 million times, you will have developed enough

static electricity to light a 60-watt light bulb for one minute”

 

**(Incoherent growling)**

...I like him

 

**Dance man**

You don’t even know him??

He could be planning Anything

Quite frankly I just find him annoying

He never stops texting when we barely know one another

 

**(Incoherent growling)**

Can he come annoy me instead

 

**Dance man**

……………..

No.

 

\---

 

_[Lee Know & Han] _

 

**Han**

almonds are a member of the peach family

crocodiles can’t stick their tongue out

banging your head against a wall burns 150 calories an hour

chinese crested dogs can get acne

 

**Lee Know**

Are you done yet

 

 **Han**   
oh hello!!! (n˘v˘•)¬

how was your day oh mysterious man

 

**Lee Know**

What’s with the facts

 

**Han**

i assumed if i kept going you’d eventually find one you thought was a lie

and then you’d reply ( ^▽^)

 

**Lee Know**

I barely know you and yet somehow I fear you

 

**Han**

thank you!!!

you didn’t tell me about your day :<

 

**Lee Know**

You sure know how to sound dodgy and Up To Something

I had a day off so I just spent it with friends

 

**Han**

damn that’s not the secret information i am trying to collect!!!

i’m kidding (ΘεΘ)

but wow?? you have friends?

 

**Lee Know**

Why do you sound so shocked

 

**Han**

you tried so hard to sound edgy and stuff that i assumed you had none

my bad ★(◠ω⊙)

i spent today practicing!!!

 

**Lee Know**

...Practicing?

 

**Han**

yeah!!! i dance

cool right ☆

 

**Lee Know**

Oh

That’s actually pretty cool yeah

 

**Han**

uwu

i have mystery man’s respect

 

**Lee Know**

Respect is a big word

You still texted an unknown number on a random phone

In fact, you got super lucky that I’m putting up with you

And not murdering you :/

 

**Han**

my first death threat from you i am blessed

i had to try!!! you never know

or i guess . you know . lee know

 

**Lee Know**

Wow look at that I suddenly have to leave

What a wild coincidence

 

**Han**

(~￣▽￣)~

ok~ay~

hey cats or dogs

 

**Lee Know**

Uh

Maybe cats? I like both

...You?

 

**Han**

crocodiles

 

**Lee Know**

That wasn’t an option

 

**Han**

but they can’t stick their tongues out and i feel bad abt it :(

 

\---

 

_[musical geniuses ( & seungmin)] _

 

**Dance man**

He dances

 

**Beansprout**

who dances

aside from all of us

(except for seungmin)

 

**Fake gay**

I swear to god

 

**Dance man**

The creepy phone guy with the emojis

Han

 

**(Incoherent growling)**

You seem to be enjoying yourself

Who said this would be fun? Whomst?

Your best buddy who is not Seungmin or Hyunjin??

 

**Dance man**

I’m not enjoying myself don’t exaggerate

He’s talking and I’m.. listening?

He talks a lot

 

**Beansprout**

have you been meanho to him yet or are you pretending to be nice

 

**Dance man**

This is my permanent state I have no idea what you mean

 

**Fake gay**

It’s fine the moment Minho lets his snake out the guy will run off

 

**Dance man**

I wish

He liked my death threat

 

**(Incoherent growling)**

Oh. cute.

Maybe he’ll actually put up with you

When are you adding him here

 

**Dance man**

?????????  
Never

 

**Fake gay**

Wow look Minho has a single common sense left

Hold onto that one it seems to be your last

 

**Dance man**

I hope you trip on something.

Listen talking to him like this and getting him involved here are..

Very different things

He might be all dodgy and be a risk to us

But he might also be a totally normal guy who just happens to be very dumb

Very, very dumb

Getting him involved in this would be real mean

 

**Beansprout**

what’s this

minho showing………….a concern?

 

**Dance man**

Jokes on you

I have plenty of concern, just not for any of you

:)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't believe i've started regularly updating this fic between 12am and 4am  
> good habits right off the bat i see

_[musical geniuses ( & seungmin)]_

**Fake gay**  
Hyunjin you’re late  
Hurry up

 **Beansprout**  
i’ll be like 2 minutes  
calm your fake gay ass

 **Fake gay**  
On that note, please change my name  
Or at least share admin rights in the chat  
That’s too much power for one man to hold

 **Beansprout**  
...you know what  
you’re right

[Beansprout promoted Dance man to chat admin]

**Fake gay**  
Oh you did not

 **Dance man**  
:)

 **Fake gay**  
Snakery  
In my own damn friendship group

 **(Incoherent growling)**  
It’s okay Seungmin  
I also don’t have admin rights  
We suffer together

 **Fake gay**  
Don’t you start  
They never mess with your name

[Dance man changed Fake gay to Salty gay]

**Salty gay**  
I will come over there and throw you out a window Minho  
You think I’m joking but it’s only a matter of time

 **Beansprout**  
please don’t kill each other i’m not even there yet

\---

_[Lee Know & Han]_

**Han**  
you’ve ignored me All Day  
lee know i require attention  
it’s a biological requirement (╯︵╰,)

 **Lee Know**  
It’s 3am what are you doing  
I still literally barely know you  
Don’t you have friends to beg for attention

 **Han**  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
yes but they’re not as interesting  
plus they’re bullies ;-;

 **Lee Know**  
I should be flattered but I’m not

 **Han**  
anyway since you barely know me  
let me fix that (ﾉ･_-)☆

 **Lee Know**  
That wasn’t a request

 **Han**  
too late  
i’m an art student!

 **Lee Know**  
And somehow, I am not surprised

 **Han**  
(`･ω･´)  
because i exude such a fun aura?

 **Lee Know**  
...Sure, if that’s how you wanna put it

 **Han**  
how abt you???  
you’re 35 and part of a cult right

 **Lee Know**  
Very close, it’s more of a crime syndicate

 **Han**  
(-’_’-)

 **Lee Know**  
I’m joking

 **Han**  
(◕﹏◕)  
oh mysterious man does have a sense of humour!!

 **Lee Know**  
I’m a student too

 **Han**  
wait WHAT  
you try to act cool all the time  
when you’re just my age??  
you just lost so many edgy mystery points（ ´∀｀）

 **Lee Know**  
I never tried to act cool..?  
I just told you that texting me was stupid  
Which it was

 **Han**  
but now we’re best friends so  
problem solved mr lee know (^_-)

 **Lee Know**  
We are not friends  
Anyway I’m busy most evenings from around 7  
I get back between 2 and 3 usually  
Except Friday, that’s my day off  
I don’t always reply during the day anyway though  
I do still have classes

 **Han**  
ohhh my god  
you’re giving me your schedule ???  
we ARE best friends (╥_╥)♥

 **Lee Know**  
We are Not friends.  
You’re the one who was whining about me not replying  
I’m letting you be annoying more efficiently  
So you don’t fill my phone with a billion messages again

 **Han**  
(╥_╥)♥ (╥_╥)♥ (╥_╥)♥  
hey lee know?

 **Lee Know**  
??

 **Han**  
did you know every time you lick a stamp it’s 1/10 of a calorie

\---

_[musical geniuses ( & seungmin)]_

**Dance man**  
I can’t do this anymore

 **(Incoherent growling)**  
Minho snapped  
And it’s only 3am

 **Dance man**  
I didn’t snap  
This goddamn idiot who is messaging me  
Literally does not stop talking

 **Beansprout**  
sounds like you could use a han-d

 **(Incoherent growling)**  
hnfjdfsdf  
That was atrocious

 **Beansprout**  
he’s calling me  
changbin help what do i do

 **(Incoherent growling)**  
He’s probably going to trace your phone and kill you

 **Beansprout**  
i’m too young and pretty to die to minho of all people

 **(Incoherent growling)**  
It’s okay he might not even be able to reach your neck

[Dance man changed (Incoherent growling) to Acquaintance]

**Beansprout**  
ah, demoted

 **Acquaintance**  
This isn’t how I expected this friendship to go down  
I thought I’d get to witness Minho have at least one breakdown  
And then he’d finally lose his sanity and wipe us all out

 **Beansprout**  
well we live to see minho struggle another day

\---

_[a disorderly family]_

**Gay crisis**  
are stamp facts too much ??  
what kind of good sane human doesn’t like a good stamp fact

 **The literal sun ☼**  
i want context

 **Honorary dad**  
I don’t think I do

 **Gay crisis**  
i’m still talking to lee know  
(ノ_・。)

 **The literal sun ☼**  
ah your elusive phone number boy  
is he a serial killer yet

 **Honorary dad**  
Yet

 **The literal sun ☼**  
everyone has room for growth chan

 **Gay crisis**  
he’s not a serial killer  
actually he’s a scorpio he might be :(

 **Honorary dad**  
That’s really judgemental of you  
(keep an eye out Jisung)

 **Gay crisis**  
(i will (｡•̀ᴗ-))  
i still don’t know much abt him  
he’s pretty fun to talk to tho !!  
he said he’s a student .. so he might be our age

 **The literal sun ☼**  
or he could be a serial killer

 **Gay crisis**  
or a student serial killer （・□・；）

 **Honorary dad**  
That’s wild  
There’s still absolutely nothing normal about his number being on that phone  
But as long as you’re careful :D

 **Gay crisis**  
(*˘︶˘*)  
of course

 **The literal sun ☼**  
did he tell you anything else??

 **Gay crisis**  
nothing new today no :(  
although i don’t think he likes stamp facts  
he disappeared as soon as i whipped one out  
i thought it was one of my best yet  
(｡-_-｡)

 **Honorary dad**  
Maybe he went to bed?  
It is 3am

 **Gay crisis**  
………..you’re right  
thank you smart man chan  
(°◡°♡)

 **Honorary dad**  
<3  
Try to get some sleep you zazzed children  
You can discuss possible serial killers tomorrow

 **The literal sun ☼**  
:D

 **Gay crisis**  
i appreciate you two  
my lil no sleep crew  
goodnight ♡(.◜ω◝.)♡


	4. Chapter 4

_[musical geniuses ( & seungmin)]_

**Beansprout**  
i’m gonna be late for class

 **Dance man**  
You??? late for something??  
I’m in shock

 **Salty gay**  
What happened  
Where’s Changbin

 **Beansprout**  
he’s actually the issue  
there’s a stray cat

 **Salty gay**  
Say no more

 **Dance man**  
Don’t leave Changbin alone  
He’ll never go to class

 **Beansprout**  
i’d just sleep through the lecture anyway  
it’s fashion history first thing today :’))

 **Dance man**  
It should be a crime to have history based classes first thing  
Unless you’re Seungmin and actually enjoy art history

 **Salty gay**  
God forbid I try to expand my knowledge you uncultured radishes

 **Beansprout**  
oh shit  
there’s another cat i’ll brb

 **Salty gay**  
Hyunjin your allergies  
...Hyunjin

 **Dance man**  
We’ve lost him

\---

_[a disorderly family]_

**Gay crisis**  
up and on your feet we have a bright day ahead of us!!!! (*･▽･*)

 **Damage control**  
It’s 6am  
Jisung you are literally never up this early  
What gives

 **Gay crisis**  
can’t i just be a productive student for once?

 **Damage control**  
No.

 **Gay crisis**  
okay fine  
i was thinking  
isn’t everything a boomerang if you throw it directly up?

 **Damage control**  
Jisung..

 **Honorary dad**  
He makes a good point I guess

 **Gay crisis**  
thank you (ʃƪ˘･ᴗ･˘)  
do you guys want to hang out after classes today?  
college has drained me :(

 **Honorary dad**  
I would but I have a project for class I really have to work on D:

 **Damage control**  
Let the younger ones come over  
You’ll just shut yourself into your laptop for hours otherwise  
I’m not strong enough to handle your zombie mode on my own anyway

 **Gay crisis**  
felix  & i will bring food ~

 **Honorary dad**  
You guys are great  <3  
Thank you!

\---

_[Han & Lee Know]_

**Han**  
good morning!!!  
o(≧∇≦o)

 **Lee Know**  
I’m around 100 percent sure you should be in class

 **Han**  
you are not wrong  
i am in class

 **Lee Know**  
..  
And on your phone

 **Han**  
(っ- ‸ – ς)  
i’m bored  
you’re on your phone toooo

 **Lee Know**  
I’m not in class yet

 **Han**  
oh !  
responsible~  
did you know cows have regional accents?

 **Lee Know**  
...I did not

 **Han**  
now you do  
!(•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

 **Lee Know**  
I’m gonna go to class

[Save Han as Dumb Fact Generator?]  
[Saved]

\---

_[musical geniuses ( & seungmin)]_

**Salty gay**  
I saved a music room if you guys want  
We have a while before we need to leave

 **Beansprout**  
i sort of just wanna nap

 **Salty gay**  
It’s literally 5pm  
You already sleep like 10 hours a day isn’t that enough  
You'd sleep through work if you could

 **Beansprout**  
zzz

 **Salty gay**  
There’s a freshman hovering outside  
and I think they’re trying to decide if I’m using the room or not

 **Acquaintance**  
Well you kind of aren’t  
I’m on my way anyway

 **Salty gay**  
What do I do if he talks to me

 **Acquaintance**  
Why would he?  
Tell him you’re waiting on someone  
You better not be rude to a freshman  
Be nice

 **Beansprout**  
you’re good at talking anyway just be yourself

 **Dance man**  
He can’t do both of those at the same time guys

 **Salty gay**  
I’m never coming to dance practice now

 **Dance man**  
Aw Seungmin don’t be like that :)  
If you never share anything music related with us  
how are we ever gonna change the group chat name?

 **Beansprout**  
leave him alone minho he’s playing hard to get

 **Dance man**  
Why would he do that when he’s already hard to want

 **Beansprout**  
oh my god

 **Acquaintance**  
Stop being snakes for a sec  
I just watched Seungmin interact with the freshman I think  
He smiled :’)

 **Beansprout**  
don’t lie to us seungmin doesn’t smile

 **Salty gay**  
I was being polite  
And you’re both fucking dead

 **Beansprout**  
at least i’ll die doing what i love

 **Dance man**  
Which is?

 **Beansprout**  
dying

\---

_[Dumb Fact Generator & Lee Know]_

**Dumb Fact Generator**  
lee know??  
it’s not 7 yet  
talk to me ( ღ’ᴗ’ღ )

 **Lee Know**  
I’m hanging out with my friends

 **Dumb Fact Generator**  
oh no !!!  
i’m sorry my bad  
(／。＼)

 **Lee Know**  
It’s alright  
We’re not really doing anything important anyway  
What are you doing?

 **Dumb Fact Generator**  
( ⚆ _ ⚆ )  
you asked me a question!  
i’m with my friends too  
one of them is working on a music thing  
and we’re keeping him company so he doesn’t forget to eat  
he does that a lot when he’s working :D

 **Lee Know**  
I have a friend like that too  
One of my friends doesn’t do any work though  
and still passes his classes with 0 effort

 **Dumb Fact Generator**  
how ???? (O∆O)  
i spend so long on my assignments  
and even then they never feel good enough !!!

 **Lee Know**  
That’s the student life for most of us I guess  
I’m gonna go, we have to go out soon  
I’ll see you tomorrow  
Don’t stay up \:

 **Dumb Fact Generator**  
∩(︶▽︶)∩  
i won’t!!!!

\---

_[musical geniuses ( & seungmin)]_

**Acquaintance**  
Seungmin  
Seungmin the connection cut out  
Seungmin??

 **Salty gay**  
I know I know  
Sorry give me like 5  
Just lay low for now I’ll fix it really soon  
Be careful

 **Beansprout**  
the whole thing cut out  
i can’t hear you guys anymore either

 **Salty gay**  
Fuck sorry  
I’ll be quick okay  
I think I messed something up  
I’m sure I can fix it though

 **Acquaintance**  
Please hurry it up  
I need to know where Minho is

 **Salty gay**  
I’m trying  
You’re in a pretty safe area right now anyway  
But stop texting it’s safer  
Trust me I won’t be long  
You’ll know when it’s back up  
I got this

 **Beansprout**  
don’t fail us now buddy  
you got this


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> at least a third of the conversations in this fic come from actual conversations  
> that probably does not say good things about me :'))

_[musical geniuses ( & seungmin)]_

**Acquaintance**  
I’m skipping class

 **Beansprout**  
he’s not skipping class

 **Acquaintance**  
I want a new roommate

 **Beansprout**  
too bad  
get out of bed or no breakfast

 **Acquaintance**  
I am EXHAUSTED  
college isn’t important anyway  
it just tests your memory  
not your intelligence

 **Dance man**  
It tests my patience personally

 **Salty gay**  
You might find the cats again Changbin

 **Acquaintance**  
Suddenly I’m up

 **Dance man**  
You big softie \:

 **Acquaintance**  
I’m not a softie

 **Beansprout**  
you were crying yesterday

 **Acquaintance**  
(turns up my chemical romance volume)  
I can’t hear you

 **Beansprout**  
you would not shut up about the paws

 **Acquaintance**  
THEY HAVE SUCH LITTLE FEETS HYUNJIN

[Dance man changed Acquaintance to Emo Phase]

\---

_[a disorderly family]_

**Honorary dad**  
aahhhh  
I’m kinda nervous to hand in my first draft  
I wanna work on it some more;;

 **Damage control**  
You spent way too long on that  
There’s no way it isn’t literally flawless  
Don’t worry so much

 **The literal sun ☼**  
you are gay  
you got this *  
oh my god  
that was an accident i swear

 **Honorary dad**  
...thanks Felix  
That’s some motivation right there

 **Damage control**  
Your contribution is appreciated lix

 **Favourite child**  
you sure know how to rile em up felix

 **The literal sun ☼**  
let me live i beg

\---

_[Lee Know & Han]_

**Han**  
excuse me mr lee know (o^^)o

 **Lee Know**  
Morning

 **Han**  
good morning~  
did you know you can’t dream and snore at the same time ??

 **Lee Know**  
Okay I’m calling it at last  
That one’s a lie  
My friend does both

 **Han**  
nope it’s true!! (๑’ᗢ’๑)ฅ

 **Lee Know**  
I refuse to accept this

 **Han**  
you must really hate being wrong huh  <:

 **Lee Know**  
I wouldn’t know  
I’ve never been wrong

 **Han**  
i guess lee know does know many things (*¬*)

 **Lee Know**  
Sigh

[Save Lee Know as Lee Know (it all)?]  
[Saved]

\---

_[a disorderly family]_

**The literal sun ☼**  
who’s helping me with my photography assignment after class  
hint hint

 **Favourite child**  
suddenly i’m busy

 **The literal sun ☼**  
:( jeongin  
it won’t take long  
pleasseee

 **Favourite child**  
if i do this you owe me help for my next assignment too  
...like, a LOT of help  
even if it means sitting for 8 hours so i can paint still life

 **The literal sun ☼**  
!!!!!!!!!! deal  
see u love me really

 **Favourite child**  
you’re exaggerating  
it’s more as though you’ve grown on me  
...like mould

 **The literal sun ☼**  
❤ ❤ ❤

\---

_[musical geniuses ( & seungmin)]_

**Beansprout**  
psa i need y’alls help

 **Dance man**  
Y’alls has been summoned

 **Beansprout**  
yknow that kid from dance  
orange hair one

 **Dance man**  
The freshman?

 **Beansprout**  
i think so yea  
on the walk back to the dorms me n changbin walked past him  
he was with another dude and they were taking photos  
changbin wanted to watch like the idiot he is

 **Dance man**  
Have we lost Changbin again

 **Beansprout**  
the guy saw us and yelled our names  
then started talking to changbin  
and changbin panicked

 **Dance man**  
...They started talking to Changbin?  
Our grumpy little shadow?

 **Beansprout**  
long story short i think changbin is now involved  
he keeps sending me distress signals  
what do i do

 **Dance man**  
You run  
Every man for themselves

 **Salty gay**  
Okay do Not abandon Changbin  
Orange hair freshman?  
Sounds like the guy who spoke to me by the music rooms

 **Dance man**  
Ah  
So he truly lacks ‘older student’ fear  
He is.. unstoppable

 **Beansprout**  
the freshman’s friend looks equally as horrified as changbin

 **Dance man**  
I will be noble and come rescue you both

 **Beansprout**  
oh god

 **Dance man**  
What, you don’t trust me?

 **Beansprout**  
no

 **Dance man**  
I’m gonna take that as a yes  
Be there soon

 **Salty gay**  
Don’t let Minho scare the freshmen too much

\---

_[a disorderly family]_

**Favourite child**  
so THAT was minho  
jisung has AWFUL taste

 **The literal sun ☼**  
i agree minho is scary  
he does not look human  
his entire aura is intimidating

 **Favourite child**  
since when do you find people intimidating  
they were all terrifying  
but you ran right up to those juniors like you knew them

 **The literal sun ☼**  
i recognised them from dance!!  
and the stuttery one was the guy who raps in the music rooms  
he looks scary and all but smiles a ton in dance  
i’m not scared of him :D

 **Gay crisis**  
you guys did w h a t  
(!!´◯`)  
wait you saw minho??? (๑°艸°๑)

 **Favourite child**  
felix started talking to some dudes from your dance about rap  
and sent one of them into a spiral of fear  
then minho appeared to rescue his friends

 **Gay crisis**  
felix you’re an idiot  
and that’s a lot coming from me（○Ａ○）  
…...did minho look as good as always :(

 **The literal sun ☼**  
odly reminiscent of a greek god  
oddly*

 **Favourite child**  
more like a demon from the earth’s crust

 **Gay crisis**  
so that’s a yes :(((

 **Honorary dad**  
When Felix goes out he should really take me or Woojin with him  
I thought Jisung was the safety hazard but  
Felix is on a mission for the throne

 **Damage control**  
I don’t wanna know what their shared dorm is like

 **Favourite child**  
when i went there last time they had no towels  
said they burnt them all trying to make food

 **The literal sun ☼**  
that was ONE TIME

 **Gay crisis**  
don’t forget last wednesday (ʘᗩʘ’)

 **The literal sun ☼**  
that was TWO TIMES


	6. Chapter 6

_[Dumb Fact Generator & Lee Know]_

**Lee Know**  
good morning

 **Dumb Fact Generator**  
┌╏ º □ º ╏┐  
did you just message me first??  
good morning ♥（ﾉ´∀`）

 **Lee Know**  
...No fact?

 **Dumb Fact Generator**  
(́⚈人⚈‵)  
who are you  
the part of the brain that handles emotion is near identical in humans and cats

 **Lee Know**  
Really? Nice  
Yesterday was tiring can I get another

 **Dumb Fact Generator**  
squirrels plant thousands of trees a year by accidentally leaving acorns around  
(｡-﹏-｡ )

 **Lee Know**  
..Squirrels are good

 **Dumb Fact Generator**  
they are!!!!!

\---

_[musical geniuses ( & seungmin)]_

**Emo Phase**  
I am in distress

 **Beansprout**  
and probably in bed too  
get up or i will literally leave without you

 **Emo Phase**  
You wouldn’t leave, you have fashion history first  
You would appreciate the excuse to be late

 **Beansprout**  
touché  
is this about scary tangerine boy

 **Emo Phase**  
He talks so fast it puts the world’s fastest car to shame

 **Beansprout**  
you lost all composure  
carried an aura of fear

 **Emo Phase**  
??? how does one NOT panic  
I don’t even remember what he said

 **Dance man**  
Thank you, Minho  
I appreciate you saving me, Minho  
Where would I be without you, Minho

 **Salty gay**  
contrary to popular belief we do not require you to live minho

 **Dance man**  
But how will you get your daily dose of Minho???

 **Beansprout**  
minho you only fixed the situation by being scarier than the kid  
they all scattered when you appeared  
it was like running into a flock of birds

 **Dance man**  
Whoosh

 **Salty gay**  
Don’t encourage him Hyunjin

 **Beansprout**  
in all fairness he did good  
he came over just to save a stressed changbin  
even though he lives in the dorms on the other side of campus

 **Dance man**  
Actually, I live in the moment

 **Salty gay**  
He just likes watching people panic

 **Emo Phase**  
Minho can you please follow me around all day  
Nobody will come near me

 **Dance man**  
Did you guys know crocodiles can’t stick out their tongues?

 **Emo Phase**  
Minho pl ea s e

 **Beansprout**  
wait really???

 **Dance man**  
Yeah  
Weird, right?

 **Salty gay**  
Minho you can dance and you might have a nice face  
But you carry an aura of chaos everywhere you go

 **Dance man**  
I’m flattered

\---

_[a disorderly family]_

**Favourite child**  
good luck getting your music draft back chan!

 **Honorary dad**  
:D

 **The literal sun ☼**  
...hey chan..

 **Damage control**  
Ominous.

 **The literal sun ☼**  
nono  
i’m just curious  
dyou know changbin?

 **Gay crisis**  
((ﾟ□ﾟ;))

 **The literal sun ☼**  
idk i’ve been meaning to talk to him anyway  
i’m always curious abt his rap  
but when i tried he panicked

 **Favourite child**  
you don’t just approach people and ask about their hobbies  
he doesn’t know you??

 **The literal sun ☼**  
i mean i thought he might recognise me from dance  
plus he was staring us down anyway  
it wasn’t that weird to talk to hin  
him*

 **Gay crisis**  
are you sure he’s a music student? y( ꒪◊꒪)y

 **The literal sun ☼**  
nah i’m guessing  
he’s only a junior anyway  
since chan’s a sophomore he wouldn’t b in the same class  
but i thought i’d ask

 **Honorary dad**  
Ooh yeah  
I know who you mean  
Rapper who dresses full black?

 **The literal sun ☼**  
!!! yeah  
do you know what his friends study?  
aside from minho since he’s a college-wide accepted theatre kid

 **Honorary dad**  
Uhhh  
One of them is in classical art history, I think  
The red hair and glasses

 **The literal sun ☼**  
oh oh they’re friends ????  
thank u chan ily

 **Honorary dad**  
You’re welcome :D

 **Favourite child**  
you are gay

 **The literal sun ☼**  
you got this* ??

 **Favourite child**  
did i fucking stutter

\---

_[Fire starter & Jisung]_

**Jisung**  
lee fee liks  
what are you up to  
〣( ºΔº )〣  
i know your plotting talk from a mile away

 **Fire starter**  
nothing!!!!  
i promise no bad intentions

 **Jisung**  
you’ve never mentioned changbin before  
n now you’ve jumped to stalking?? (˵¯͒ བ¯͒˵)

 **Fire starter**  
i have nOT  
you of all people would not betray me this way jisung  
i know i’m no music student but …… you know how i’ve been  
curious abt rap

 **Jisung**  
(꒪ȏ꒪;)

 **Fire starter**  
yea  
i’m just kinda curious  
i wanna try it and he’s rlly good :(

 **Jisung**  
understandable \:  
but please b careful!!  
that entire friendship group is scary

 **Fire starter**  
don’t tell me to be careful  
mr president of the minho fanclub  
if changbin turns out half as scary as minho  
i’ll let you know

\---

_[Lee Know (it all) & Han]_

**Lee Know (it all)**  
What’s up?

 **Han**  
ﾍ(;´o｀)ﾍ  
is you messaging me first gonna become normal??  
because you should warn me!!  
and hey it’s 7 shouldn’t you be busy Σ(°□°)⊃

 **Lee Know (it all)**  
I’m just kinda nervous for something

 **Han**  
oh no (｡ŏ﹏ŏ)  
it will go okay lee know !!  
swiss law says you have to own guinea pigs in pairs  
so they don’t get lonely

 **Lee Know (it all)**  
Oh :( cute

 **Han**  
a specific type of penguins propose with pebbles!

 **Lee Know (it all)**  
Oh :((  
I have to go  
Thanks though

 **Han**  
no problem!!!!  
good luck with whatever it is lee know!!!  
(｡’▽’｡)♡

\---

_[Fire starter & Jisung]_

**Jisung**  
HE USED EMOJIS

 **Fire starter**  
what are you talking about


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because i'm a lovely author i'm gonna address one of my comments with a science lesson welcome to ao3 class uwu
> 
> before rem sleep your body relaxes and breathing slows, which is when snoring happens. when you enter rem sleep (which is when you dream) your breathing is really shallow. snoring is air passing through the airway and causing vibration/sound, so in theory, with your breathing becoming more shallow, less air is being taken in and you snore less.  
> so yeah technically you MIGHT be able to snore and dream at the same time but it should be near impossible \: idk i've studied biochem a long time but i have no clue okay
> 
> thanks for coming to my science lesson enjoy the chapter

_[musical geniuses ( & seungmin)]_

**Dance man**  
I wanna audition for the theatre major's musical this year  
But all of the rehearsals are in the eveningsssss

 **Beansprout**  
isn’t there a way around it?  
i think we can survive without you for a week or so :P

 **Dance man**  
I do Not trust you without me  
I’m the voice of reason  
Or, more accurately, the voice of “calm the fuck down”

 **Beansprout**  
you aren’t wrong  
but this musical needs you  
which is it?

 **Dance man**  
Peste :(

 **Beansprout**  
oh my god you have to  
they deserve your vocals

 **Salty gay**  
But he’s the Dance Man

 **Dance man**  
I am indeed the Dance Man

[Beansprout changed Dance man to Dancing Queen]

**Emo Phase**  
Dancing queen  
young and sweet  
only……nineteen..

 **Salty gay**  
Minho is not sweet don’t kid yourself

 **Dancing Queen**  
:)

\---

_[Fire starter & Jisung]_

**Fire starter**  
please set me on fire

 **Jisung**  
that’s your job  <:  
what did you do this time

 **Fire starter**  
ok hear me out i did something dumb

 **Jisung**  
i’m in shock (∪｡∪)｡｡｡

 **Fire starter**  
shut up  
i . wimped out of talking to changbin  
and spoke to his friend instead

 **Jisung**  
(｡v_v｡)  
hyunjin?

 **Fire starter**  
uhhhh no  
so there’s the guy who takes classical art history right  
chan mentioned him  
i spoke to him before by accident so  
i decided i could do it again

 **Jisung**  
aanddd….?

 **Fire starter**  
and  
he’s RLLY NICE  
like….. super awkward  
but he said his name was seungmin  
and told me he liked my hair uwu

 **Jisung**  
how did you even do this (´･_･`)

 **Fire starter**  
he came past the music rooms again  
so i said hi!!!  
we spoke a little about music too  
then i saw chan and decided to pretend i’d been waiting for him  
so i did not look awk :D

 **Jisung**  
you are ridiculous (ﾟｰﾟ )  
seungmin seems cool though!!  
he’s their friend but i don’t see him at dance?

 **Fire starter**  
yeah idk i didn’t mention that  
next time !!!!

 **Jisung**  
i can’t believe mission ask changbin abt rap  
has become mission befriend random art history guy  
(⊙＿⊙’)

\---

_[Resident Rap God & Seungmin]_

**Seungmin**  
Tangerine boy

 **Resident Rap God**  
Oh no

 **Seungmin**  
He said hi to me

 **Resident Rap God**  
Did he start yelling at you about music  
He’s not even a music major

 **Seungmin**  
Well I was by the music rooms so  
I guess talking about music wasn’t that weird?  
He asked about my major and stuff  
And… Mentioned he really liked rapping  
And wanted to learn it

 **Resident Rap God**  
Oh my god he what  
...That’s kind of cool??

 **Seungmin**  
Maybe you should talk to him  
Instead of avoiding him  
Huh

 **Resident Rap God**  
You severely overestimate my social skills

\---

_[Lee Know (it all) & Han]_

**Han**  
hello how were your classes  
ƪ(˘⌣˘)┐

 **Lee Know (it all)**  
Not bad  
How were yours?  
What d’you actually do aside from… art

 **Han**  
well i take illustrative art so  
it’s mostly just practicing in our preferred medium (・ڡ・)  
very little work actually involved !!

 **Lee Know (it all)**  
And what’s yours then?

 **Han**  
i like just regular ol pens n pencils  
one of my friends is in my class  
he’s so good with paint!! he does the wildest still life stuff

 **Lee Know (it all)**  
That’s pretty cool  
Show me your stuff sometime

 **Han**  
deal (*＾∀ﾟ)ъ  
did you know picasso could draw before he could walk?  
and the first thing he ever said was pencil

 **Lee Know (it all)**  
Was yours a fact?

 **Han**  
ꋧ(⋆ʾꇶʿ⋆)  
i’m not that smart~

\---

_[musical geniuses ( & seungmin)]_

**Dancing Queen**  
I’m taking initiative  
In honour of Seungmin saving my ass at work today  
I present you with a gift

[Dancing Queen changed musical geniuses (& seungmin) to talent team]

**Dancing Queen**  
Happy Seungmin week!  
For a whole week, we will put up with you nicely :)

 **Salty gay**  
Am I supposed to say thank you

[Dancing Queen changed Salty gay to Helpful gay]

**Helpful gay**  
Thank you.

 **Dancing Queen**  
You’re welcome

 **Beansprout**  
shoutout to seungmin for not sucking today

 **Helpful gay**  
...Thanks ?

 **Emo Phase**  
Can we hang out tomorrow after classes? :(  
I wanna watch movies and stuff  
We don’t hang out enough outside of work

 **Beansprout**  
oh good idea! y'all can come to me and bin's dorm

 **Dancing Queen**  
I can bring movies  
How soft?

 **Emo Phase**  
Distressingly soft

 **Dancing Queen**  
Got it.

 **Helpful gay**  
We can order pizza ??

 **Beansprout**  
god i’m hungry hhhh

 **Dancing Queen**  
...me too  
I’m gonna go eat pizza

 **Helpful gay**  
It’s 4am…  
Eating past 9pm is bad for you y’know

 **Dancing Queen**  
Good thing time is an illusion


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is kinda short but it's because i think tomorrow's might end up quite long? guess we'll see u_u

_[Lee Know (it all) & Han]_

**Han**  
lee know（*’∀’人）  
i am running late  
but i have to help your day start off well  
so i wanted you to know pandas have no sleep pattern  
they just sleep when they’re tired ᶘ ᵒ㉨ᵒᶅ

 **Lee Know (it all)**  
… Mood  
Don’t be too late

\---

_[a disorderly family]_

**Honorary dad**  
I got my draft back  
Got a predicted 90%!! :D

 **Damage control**  
Congratulations! Told you so

 **Favourite child**  
we love our smartass chan

 **Honorary dad**  
I’ll probably still change it a ton but  
it’s reassuring -v-

 **Gay crisis**  
〈( ^.^)ノ  
good job!!!!!!!!!!!

 **The literal sun ☼**  
so smart :( we love u

 **Honorary dad**  
<3  
Jisung did you see the musical sign up sheet

 **Gay crisis**  
no i am Not signing up for the musical  
ε=ε=ε=┏(ﾟロﾟ;)┛

 **Honorary dad**  
Pffsh not what I meant  
I was gonna say Minho signed up

 **Gay crisis**  
… ヾ(。￣-￣)ﾂ

 **Honorary dad**  
...And that I got asked if I wanted to work on the musical  
Like, the actual musical aspect, of course

 **Gay crisis**  
(*´-｀*)

 **Honorary dad**  
And since I’m such a great friend  
You can come to rehearsals if you want

 **Gay crisis**  
(*ﾟ◯ﾟ*)  
are you supporting my gay crisis???  
you’re the BEST ;__;

 **Honorary dad**  
:D  
Mondays and Wednesdays from 6 until 8  
You can help them paint the set and stuff  
Make yourself actually useful

 **Gay crisis**  
i love you

 **Honorary dad**  
I know  
I’m not like any dad  
I’m a cool dad

 **Favourite child**  
alright stop right there

[Damage control changed Gay crisis to Gay mess]

\---

_[talent team]_

**Dancing Queen**  
I hereby declare  
You’re all officially on your own tonight  
I’m going to auditions

 **Beansprout**  
aaaaa !!! do good minho  
we’ll try not to die

 **Dancing Queen**  
Try? How reassuring..  
Listen to Seungmin  
He’s Honorary Minho for tonight

 **Helpful gay**  
I know that wasn’t supposed to be an insult  
But I felt physical pain reading it anyway

 **Dancing Queen**  
If you have any questions you can just ask here

 **Emo Phase**  
Why are they called buildings when they’re already built

 **Dancing Queen**  
…  
If you have any relevant questions you can just ask here

 **Helpful gay**  
..Noted  
Dance is tomorrow, right?  
Since it’s our day off?  
I’ll tag along

 **Beansprout**  
!!!!oh my god

 **Dancing Queen**  
Finally  
We’ll wait for you after class then

 **Emo Phase**  
Thank god  
I was starting to look embarrassing  
Hyunjin and Minho are on a different level

 **Helpful gay**  
Bold of you to assume I can’t dance :)

 **Emo Phase**  
..That message carried Minho levels of snakery

 **Dancing Queen**  
Gasp  
My throne

\---

_[Fire starter & Han]_

**Fire starter**  
hey i’m moving up in the world  
i waved at seungmin  
…….while he was with minho

 **Han**  
hsnfjsdf you whAT ﾍ(;´Д｀ﾍ)

 **Fire starter**  
and seungmin smiled n waved back  
but . minho looked at me like there was something wrong w me

 **Han**  
he wouldn’t be wrong \:

 **Fire starter**  
for real minho is scary though  
it’s like he’s planning all the quickest ways to like  
kill you and hide the body  
just when he looks at you

 **Han**  
it’s kinda attractive :(

 **Fire starter**  
………...yea  
angery man hot

 **Han**  
angery man hot :(  
i’m suddenly anxious over helping at rehearsals (o_ _)o

 **Fire starter**  
just hide behind chan?  
chan comes across kinda scary soetimes too so  
sometimes*  
people might not talk to you

 **Han**  
i Guess (~_~;)  
i can figure it out, fake confidence yaknow

 **Fire starter**  
fake confidence !! it always works  
remember on the first day this year  
you guys dared me to talk to that senior  
and he called me a broken traffic cone  
fake confidence :’)

 **Han**  
we didn’t dare you  
you insisted  
we told you not to and you said “i do what i want”

 **Fire starter**  
...real confidence!

\---

_[talent team]_

**Beansprout**  
good luck minho

 **Dancing Queen**  
Got it~

 **Helpful gay**  
We’ll do good without you

 **Emo Phase**  
I’m nervous though ahh  
It’s somehow scarier without you  
You’re always eerily calm it makes me panic less

 **Dancing Queen**  
Dude you’ll be fine without me  
No need to be so stressed

 **Emo Phase**  
Okay but consider this:  
I am

 **Dancing Queen**  
Shut up it’ll be okay  
Just listen to Minho 2

 **Helpful gay**  
“Minho 2”  
I’m starting to wish someone else had been chosen for Honorary Minho

 **Dancing Queen**  
:)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is a double length chapter to make up for missing yesterday <:  
> (also can we talk abt the awkward silence dance prac it's so gooood;; )

_[Lee Know (it all) & Han]_

**Han**  
guess what i’ve got (´꒳`)

 **Lee Know (it all)**  
The urge to finally become a productive member of society?

 **Han**  
(๑•̆૩•̆)  
i fear you may think too highly of me  
no but i have good facts

 **Lee Know (it all)**  
Next best thing, I suppose

 **Han**  
it’s considered rude to write in red ink in portugal !!

 **Lee Know (it all)**  
Hm, I preferred the animal facts I think

 **Han**  
...cats spend two thirds of their life asleep

 **Lee Know (it all)**  
I can’t believe I’m a cat

 **Han**  
(*≧▽≦)ﾉｼ))

[Save Lee Know (it all) as Lee Meow?]  
[Saved]

\---

_[talent team]_

**Dancing Queen**  
Waking up to no messages in this chat is oddly daunting  
Either it was boring and went fine  
Or you’re all dead

 **Helpful gay**  
Place your bets.

 **Dancing Queen**  
Aw damn \:  
You got my hopes up for a bit there

 **Helpful gay**  
Ha ha.

 **Beansprout**  
it’s still be nice to seungmin week  
watch out minho

 **Dancing Queen**  
Well I wasn’t singling Seungmin out  
I was being mean to all of you

 **Beansprout**  
absolutely understandable  
you being silent means you passed auditions, right?

 **Dancing Queen**  
Maybe so

 **Beansprout**  
congratulations then!

 **Emo Phase**  
Ooh nice one Minho!

 **Helpful gay**  
Yes yes congratulations nobody is shocked

 **Emo Phase**  
Seungmin are you meeting us for dance later, then?

 **Helpful gay**  
I guess so? Where do I meet you guys

 **Emo Phase**  
Oh just come to me and Hyunjin’s dorm 0:  
That’s what Minho usually does

 **Dancing Queen**  
Oh, I’ll be leaving a tiny bit early  
Just to go to rehearsals

 **Helpful gay**  
How will we manage without Dance Man?

 **Dancing Queen**  
Actually, I’m the Dancing Queen now

 **Helpful gay**  
Don’t correct me

 **Dancing Queen**  
Don’t be wrong, then

 **Beansprout**  
the day you two don’t argue is the day the world ends

 **Dancing Queen**  
Be careful, you’re tempting me to stop arguing with him

\---

_[a disorderly family]_

**Gay mess**  
i’m going to cry  
someone save me ・゜・(ノД`)

 **Honorary dad**  
You okay? D:

 **Gay mess**  
felix

 **Damage control**  
So that’s a no  
What did he do this time

 **Honorary dad**  
Are you still at dance?

 **Gay mess**  
yeah ( ɵ̥̥ ˑ̫ ɵ̥̥)  
so i don’t think he’s mentioned it here but  
felix half-befriended seungmin

 **Honorary dad**  
Who ??

 **Gay mess**  
oh uhhh  
red hair  & glasses  
something with art history? (´･_･`)

 **Honorary dad**  
Oh him? Right

 **Gay mess**  
okay well seungmin does not go to dance  
except he DID today  
and felix ran over to say hi  
there is a fatal issue here (●__●)

 **Favourite child**  
he’s gonna say minho

 **Gay mess**  
it’s MINHO

 **Favourite child**  
:)

 **Gay mess**  
no but seriously  
if felix or i randomly vanish anytime soon  
minho is the number one suspect (◎_◎;)

 **Honorary dad**  
Why..?

 **Gay mess**  
minho looks literally on the verge of murder!  
every! single! time! felix goes over  
it’s only a matter of time friends (ᗒᗩᗕ)՞

 **Damage control**  
I doubt he cares  
Felix, albeit annoying, isn’t particularly threatening  
Neon hair and piercings aside all he does is the :D face

 **Favourite child**  
idk woojin  
you should see minho’s permanent glare

 **Damage control**  
Me and Chan are older than him  
We’re probably fine

 **Favourite child**  
famous last words

 **Gay mess**  
i am currently traumatized in the corner  
because felix and seungmin were talking  
and minho looked over felix and GLARED at me  
|_・)

 **Favourite child**  
he probably wanted you to come take your felix back

 **Gay mess**  
do you think minho can smell fear

 **Favourite child**  
...probably  
is felix still with them?

 **Gay mess**  
well he’s talking to seungmin and changbin  
about dance i think?  
and the other 2 are just practising  
and occasionally judging ヘ( >_<ヘ)

 **Favourite child**  
don’t you have any other friends there??  
so you don’t have to hide in a corner ???

 **Gay mess**  
OH  
good idea  
i’m gonna go practice with jun i think (*⸰‿-)

 **Honorary dad**  
Good luck~  
Don’t forget to leave early  
I’ll meet you by the theatre building

\---

_[Lee Meow & Han]_

**Han**  
it’s your day off right  
i have a feline you might be around  
actually, scratch that, maybe not  
don’t furget to talk to me though  
it doesn’t put a paws on our friendship

\---

_[a disorderly family]_

**Gay mess**  
HELP HELP HELP

 **favourite child**  
Minho?

 **Gay mess**  
MINHO

 **Honorary dad**  
Have you left dance yet?

 **Gay mess**  
i forgot something sort of significant  
about leaving dance early to go to rehearsals  
and that is the fact minho is also at dance

 **Damage control**  
...Oh  
Are you okay?  
You’re not even using kaomojis

 **Gay mess**  
(̄へ ̄)  
ok so  
main point is felix is dead to me

 **Favourite child**  
..  
elaborate

 **Gay mess**  
me and minho were getting ready to leave at kinda the same time  
since……...rehearsals n all  
and felix felt entitled to a very loud  
“well where are you two running off to”  
to MINHO

 **Favourite child**  
hndfjnsdjfnksjfdl

 **Damage control**  
Oh boy

 **The literal sun ☼**  
I’M SORRY

 **Gay mess**  
YOU  
(._+ )☆＼(-.-メ)

 **The literal sun ☼**  
I’M SORRY IT WAS INSTINCT

 **Damage control**  
It’s okay Jisung  
I’ll take care of Felix

 **Gay mess**  
how are you gonna make it look like an accident?  
(•᷉ुε ू•᷈,)

 **Damage control**  
What  
Wait, no  
Not what I meant  
I’m gonna talk to him

 **Favourite child**  
no fun  
for once i think jisung’s idea is better

 **The literal sun ☼**  
i’m SORRY ok

 **Gay mess**  
(҂⌣̀_⌣́)

 **Honorary dad**  
Felix, that was dumb of you  
Jisung, murder isn’t the answer

 **Favourite child**  
it’s definitely _an_ answer though

 **Honorary dad**  
I said no murder.

[Damage control changed The literal sun ☼ to Idiot]

**Idiot**  
:(

[Damage control changed Idiot to Idiot ☼]

**Idiot ☼**  
:)  
anyway did i make it awkward

 **Gay mess**  
it was ALREADY awkward  
you just somehow made it worse !!!  
he turned to me and said in this like.. weird dramatic voice  
“oh, musical rehearsals?”  
and i had to explain i was just working on the set and stuff  
and. that was it  
we’re walking together with a like  
4 meter gap between us  
we’re both awkwardly on our phones too  
.·´¯`( >▂<)´¯`·.

 **Favourite child**  
i’m crying  
i wish i could see this

 **Damage control**  
Is this a kdrama?

 **Favourite child**  
it would be if it was anyone except minho and jisung  
minho is scary and seems kind of like a dick  
and jisung is.. jisung

 **Damage control**  
Walk quicker and see if he is actually walking with you

 **Gay mess**  
stOP it (இ‸இ)  
i’m already basically speed walking

 **Favourite child**  
this is too funny

 **Honorary dad**  
Please don’t die before you get here

 **Damage control**  
Yeah that set won’t paint itself

 **Gay mess**  
˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚

\---

_[Dumb Fact Generator & Lee Know]_

**Lee Know**  
You’re lucky my phone was on silent  
What’s this? Downgraded from facts to puns?

 **Dumb Fact Generator**  
well you called yourself a cat so  
thought i’d make you feel more at home (^･o･^)

 **Lee Know**  
It failed  
At least the facts feel informative  
This is just painful

 **Dumb Fact Generator**  
oh purrhaps you just need to get used to it?  
(๑ↀᆺↀ๑)

 **Lee Know**  
Aaaaand goodbye.

 **Dumb Fact Generator**  
｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡  
i was only joking mr lee know

\---

_[a disorderly family]_

**Honorary dad**  
… Uh

 **Damage control**  
Uh?

 **Honorary dad**  
Yeah exactly

 **Damage control**  
No, elaborate

 **Honorary dad**  
I basically set Jisung up to work on the set  
Then disappeared to go work on music stuff

 **Favourite child**  
you left jisung alone this can only go one way

 **Honorary dad**  
I don’t know what you’re thinking  
But it didn’t go that way

 **Damage control**  
Suddenly I am nervous

 **Honorary dad**  
As in, I just went to go check on him  
...Minho is talking to him?

 **Favourite child**  
whAT

 **Damage control**  
Oh my god wait  
What what what  
What. What?

 **Honorary dad**  
Jisung is still sitting on the floor painting  
Except… I see Minho sitting with him  
They’re talking  
How do I handle this? This isn’t in my credentials

 **Damage control**  
Uhm… I guess leave him?  
If it seems to be going okay?  
Jisung is a mess but he’s a big boy  
He can handle this himself

 **Favourite child**  
i think you overestimate him

\---

_[XX-XXXX-XXXX & Felix]_

**XX-XXXX-XXXX**  
Hello!

 **Felix**  
hello :D

[Save XX-XXXX-XXXX as Seungmin?]  
[Saved]

\---

_[XX-XXXX-XXXX & Felix]_

**XX-XXXX-XXXX**  
^^

 **Felix**  
:D!!!

[Save XX-XXXX-XXXX as Changbin?]  
[Saved]

\---

_[a disorderly family]_

**Gay mess**  
i’m hyperventilating

 **Honorary dad**  
Do I need to come over there?  
I don’t want to beat up Minho but I can

 **Gay mess**  
no it’s fine he had to go do a script run through  
┬┴┬┴┤(･_├┬┴┬┴

 **Damage control**  
What on earth happened?

 **Gay mess**  
he just came and sat down ???  
and picked up a paintbrush and joined in ??????  
(*´-｀*)

 **Damage control**  
What did you guys talk about?

 **Gay mess**  
well he mentioned felix making friends with his friends  
he asked about his major, then asked about mine  
spoke a bit about his friends and asked a bit about you guys?  
then said i’m _a pretty good dancer_ !!!! his words !!!!!  
₍₍ (ง ˙ω˙)ว ⁾⁾

 **Honorary dad**  
Are you alive?

 **Favourite child**  
i’m sorry but what the fuck  
is this it? his first step to your murder?

 **Gay mess**  
it might be  
when he first sat down i just stared  
he must think i’m such a weirdo (๑꒪⍘꒪๑)

 **Damage control**  
But he still kept talking?  
So maybe not?

 **Favourite child**  
this is wild  
felix is gonna have a field day with this

 **Gay mess**  
this was emotionally taxing  
i need to go home and lie down  
(｡･ˇ_ˇ･｡)

 **Honorary dad**  
\:  
I’ll come take you home


End file.
